Wishes
by Nickelina
Summary: The loss of a loved one often hits you harder than you ever thought it would.
1. An Angel's Wings

_Disclaimer: Characters in this work (GI Joe/ Cobra) are the property of Marvel Comics, Hasbro and Devil's Due Publishing, Inc., and are being used without permission. No profit is gained from this site or the use of these characters. Thank you StormO and SP, for your thoughts and especially Medic for listening _

_Dedicated to Nicole Chantre, who was taken away too soon.Your beautiful smile will live in our hearts forever…__I miss you, my friend. _

Authors note: All characters are referred to in their actual names. A short list is provided to lessen confusion or questions.

Dashiell Faireborn: Flint

Alison Faireborn: Lady Jaye

Clayton: Hawk

Conrad: Duke

Albert: Alpine

Shana: Scarlett

Wally: Ripcord

Hector: Shipwreck

David: Bazooka

Wayne: Beach-Head

Marvin: Roadblock

Courtney: Cover-Girl

Lonzo: Stalker

Edwin: Lifeline

_**Wishes**_

By Nickelina

_**An Angel's Wings **_

Dashiell leaned back in the chair he sat in and rubbed his eyes. He couldn't even explain the way they felt. It wasn't pain or soreness, they just hurt. He closed them and sighed He took off his beret and ran his fingers through his black hair. He just needed a minute by himself. Some much needed alone time.

A song played quietly over the loud speaker. He couldn't place who it was, something slow and jazzy. It was one of Alison's favorites or at least he hoped it was. It was in the CD player that was in her pack. She only took her favorites with her when she was out on mission. He heard people enter the room so he opened his eyes sat up straight and put his beret back on. Alison's brother Caleb was there with some people he didn't recognize. Dash put his hand up, signaling to them that he needed more time alone. Caleb took a few steps back and let Dash have his peace. Dashiell turned his head to the small table next to the chair. Framed pictures from his wedding with Alison were delicately placed on it. He picked up one that captured the two saying their vows. Allie had purposely said forever and always instead of till death do we part. It was the happiest day of their lives. He held on to the picture with a firm grip. He looked down at it again, and then to the silver coffin his beautiful wife lay in.

He wished every second since it happened that he could trade places with her. This wasn't fair. Not to him and not to her. He didn't think anyone was really prepared to die, but for some reason he knew that he should have gone before her. She could have handled it better than he was. In all respects, she was the strongest person he had ever met. He could barely handle being around their family these past few days, how was he going to stand tall once he got face to face with all the people they worked with over the years? This was not going to work. Dash looked around for a way outside. From the window, he could see there was a line just to get in to pay respects. There was no way he was going outside unnoticed.

This must be a dream, a really bad dream and no matter how hard he tried, he could not wake himself up. A few people had taken seats for the service. Clayton was there, Dash had placed him in the front row with her family. He was such a father figure to her all her time in Joe; he would have it no other way. Conrad was near the back talking to Albert who was too shaken up to come to the front to see her. Dash was overwhelmed by the site and took a seat in the second row. He just needed to sit. In the dim of hushed voices he swore he heard Alison talking to him.

"Dashiell… Dash, come over here by me."

He knew she didn't want to be alone at the front of the room. He got up and walked to the coffin. He put his hands on the edge and looked at her. She looked peaceful to say the least. "What's the matter darling? I didn't mean to leave you here alone. I'm sorry. I'll stay right here." He stroked her cheek. It didn't feel like it used to, he didn't expect it to. When he turned around he saw Shana walk in. Snake-eyes took a seat on a couch in the back of the room. When Dash's eyes met hers she gave him a small smile and walked over to him. She didn't say anything to him; she just put her hand on his shoulder and looked over at Alison. Dash reached in his pocket and took out his handkerchief and handed it to Shana. She took it and dabbed her eyes with it, and handed back to Dash.

"I think there is mascara on it." She whispered to him.

"It's ok. I blew my nose on it earlier." He told her, trying to make a joke.

"Dash, if Allie was…" Shana stopped herself before she finished her sentence. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, finish what you were saying."

"If she was here, she would hit you for that." Shana tried not to cry.

"Probably." Dash shrugged. He looked over to Alison. "But Shana deserved it didn't she, Hon?" He waited for a response from Alison. "I guess she took your side this time, Shana."

Shana took Dash into her arms. "You don't have to do this. It's ok to let it go if you need to."

Tears came to his eyes, he blinked them away. "I know. Later."

Shana frowned at him. A small group of friends came to the front. Shana stepped back and left Dash.

Dash made small talk with them and looked at his watch to see what time it was. It was almost time for the service to start. He looked through out the room. There were so many people there. It didn't surprise him; Alison touched every heart she came in contact with. There were many people from Joe there. Some seemed to be taking her passing well while others were not. Dash tried not to pay attention to them. Surprisingly the ones who were there when it happened were taking it alright. When he saw the faces of Wally, Hector, David, or even Wayne as they tried to hold it together he couldn't take it. He turned back around to Alison. "Damn it Al! Why did you do this to me? I can't do this!" He said through gritted teeth. Dash felt a hand on his shoulder. Marvin tried to turn him around but Dash wouldn't budge. "Leave me! Please, just for a minute."

Alison's brother walked over to them. He put his hand on Dash's back. "Dashiell, come and sit." Dash couldn't help but notice that Caleb had the same slight accent in his voice that Allie did.

"She needs me here. I told her I would stay right here. She doesn't want people staring at her, she always told me that."

"Dashiell, the service is about to start." Marvin said as he guided Dash to a seat next to Caleb, and then took his own seat behind him.

Those who were lucky enough to get a seat in the main room quietly sat down as Conrad took his place at the podium. The others stood along the back of the room against the wall, while others were standing in the lobby.

"I never thought I would be doing this." Conrad whispered. Those who were sitting in the front heard him. He cleared his throat and with a shaky voice began. "Today we are here to celebrate the life of Alison Faireborn, daughter, sister, wife, friend and solider. Alison was born into life…"

Dashiell tuned Conrad out. He didn't want to hear all of his precious memories, their life read off a piece of paper. He had asked Conrad to read her obituary. Alison had told him once that if anything ever happened she wanted everything taken care of by her friends, not some Chaplin she had never met. Conrad was hesitant at first, but he said he would do it for her. Shana had written it for her with the help of Dash and Caleb. Conrad talked about her acting career before the military, a story from her first week in boot camp, her rise into GI Joe. The day she met Dash and how she spurned his advances on numerous occasions. Her stubbornness, determination, her kindness, and friendships with her teammates. The times she would draw little pictures and comics on her papers and slide them across the table during meetings and how Hawk never seemed to call her on it. Her notebook that she always carried with her that no one knew what she ever wrote in it until Shipwreck stole it out of her bag.

"She kept stories from every day. So and so said this, so and so did that and I cracked up. It was also filled with more pictures of little people and stickmen punching each other, or falling down, or riding in cars. If you looked at them close enough you could tell exactly who each one was."

He continued with how she never let her teammates down in any situation, from making sure they all got out in one piece to when she had all the proper paperwork ready and waiting for you. Her love for Dashiell, how much she valued her marriage and that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

When Conrad was through Caleb stood up and on behalf of her family he read a few of her favorite poems, and one he had written himself. On his way to the podium, he stopped by her coffin and whispered to her. "I won't mess this up, promise."

"Alison always told me that I couldn't speak in public and that I would just make an ass out of myself. So I'm gonna do my best." Caleb took a deep breath and began. "Allie was the kind of baby sister you wanted to keep telling to go away. She would tag along every where you went, asking a million questions. Caleb, where are you going? Caleb what are you doing? Caleb can I do that too? One minute she was digging around in my army toys the next she was playing dress up and running around in the yard wearing my mother's wedding dress pretending to be Cinderella, or whatever character she happened to make up at the moment. Al was always playing princess. A million different princesses, sometimes all in one day. I thought that as we got older we would grow apart, our lives took us to opposite sides of the world, but we never did. I remember laughing at her when she told me she enlisted in the Army. I didn't believe her until she made her one phone call from boot camp. "Caleb I'm here!" she yelled into the phone. I told her to keep her head on and her mouth shut and maybe she would make it through. I guess she took my advice. I was so proud of her. I was always so proud of her. Even though she was where she was and I was where I was, she still kept tabs on me. She made sure that I was working, and eating right and if I had a girlfriend. Even though she was busy making sure the country was safe she still had the time to make sure I was as well. When I got the call that Alison had left us I couldn't believe it. I thought that there had been some mistake, it was the wrong Alison, or she was having one of her co-workers play one hell of a joke on me. It still hasn't sunk in." Caleb paused to wipe his eyes and recompose himself.

"She's still here, all around us. If you sit really quiet, you can hear her laughing. If you close your eyes you can see her, with her green eyes sparkling running in the yard with one of her princess dresses on. Only now she has wings attached. Now she's our angel. I love you, Sis. Wait here for us." Caleb covered his heart with two fingers.

Dash also covered his heart with two fingers and mouthed the same thing. Caleb walked back over to Alison and stood next to her for a few seconds. He then walked to Dash and shook his hand. "Thank you for taking care of her for us. She loved you more than you will ever know." Instead of going back to his seat, Caleb walked outside to get some air.

Conrad walked back to the podium. It was obvious that Caleb's poem had hit him hard. He wiped his eyes. He did not want to follow that with anything so he kept his comments brief. "I know that there are many of you who did not get to pay your respects, or have a word with the family. Feel free to for about another hour or so. On behalf of the Burnett and Faireborn families, I would like to thank you all. Alison loved you all so much."

When people started to mill about again, Dash took up his spot next to Alison. He was joined by Marvin, who was there to keep his eye on Dash. Shana was there with them as was Courtney, who had stayed with Wally during the service. Dash looked over his shoulder and frowned. "Only another hour, baby. Just hold on for another hour."

"Another hour?" Courtney asked.

"She doesn't want everyone staring at her. It was one of her wishes. Don't let everyone stare at me." Dash told her.

"If that's not Allie, I don't know what is. How are you holding up?" Courtney nervously asked. She tried to wave Wally over but he would not leave his seat.

"Allie is doing better than I, I think." Dash answered.

Albert walked close enough to Dash to get his attention. "Arlington?"

Dash shook his head yes. He wasn't ready to think about her interment. It was hard enough getting through her service.

The number of people had dwindled down and finally the director pulled the curtain closed around her casket. Dash, Caleb, and Scarlett stood next to her. The flowers and pictures were taken off her casket and only the United States flag remained. The director asked them if they wanted to leave because they we closing her coffin. The three remained. The director stepped between Dash and Caleb and slowly closed the lid. Scarlett began to cry uncontrollably and she called out for Snake-eyes. He came from the other side of the curtain and wrapped his arms around her. Caleb put his head down and closed his eyes, while Dash balled his hands into fists.

"Alison…" his voice was cut off with sobbing. Once the lid was closed, he put his hands on the top of it. "No, no, no. I'm not ready, Allie. I'm not ready to do this alone."


	2. Questions for No One

_Disclaimer: Characters in this work (GI Joe/ Cobra) are the property of Marvel Comics, Hasbro  
and Devil's Due Publishing, Inc., and are being used without permission. No profit is gained from this site or the use of these characters. Thank you to Storm O and SP for their time and Medic for the talk_

_Dedicated to Nicole Chantre, who was taken away too soon. Your beautiful smile will live in our hearts forever…I miss you, my friend. _

_**Wishes**_

_By Nickelina_

**_2. Questions for No One_**

After the service, some of Dashiell's family and friends had gathered at his home in Washington, D.C. He had bought the house with Alison shortly after they had been married; but since GI Joe had been reinstated, neither one had spent much time there. It was late, and most of the guests had gone home. Dash decided to go to bed right after Lonzo and his wife had left. Dash had asked Caleb to stay; he was worried about him. Although Caleb was a strong person in his own right, Dash didn't know how Caleb was going to move on without the constant presence of his sister. He thought it would be best if he stayed near everyone else. There were some people in Joe who never knew Alison had a brother, but those who knew her well heard her talk about him often.

Marvin had stayed. He wouldn't hear anything Dash said about wanting to be left alone. Brothers-in-Joe would never leave each other alone after a tragedy, and tonight would be no different. He wanted to be close by when reality finally hit Dash. The two of them had been through hell and back together, and he planned to stay right by his friend's side.

Edwin was also staying at the house. His way of helping Dash out was by simply being there. He still had the thought at the back of his head that if he could have done more, if he would have worked harder to save Alison's life, they would not be in this situation right now. He needed Dash to know that he did every thing he could.

Marvin finished cleaning up in the kitchen. He asked if Edwin or Caleb needed anything and then went to check on Dash. It had been a while since anyone had heard anything from him. He knocked softly on the door. When he received no answer, he opened it slowly. The lights were on, and Dash was sitting on the edge of the bed. His jacket was carelessly thrown on a chair, and his beret and tie were on the floor. Marvin picked up the coat and walked over to the closet to hang it up.

"Don't." Dash told him.

"Man, you have to keep this nice for tomorrow. After that I don't care what you do with it," Marvin told him.

"I don't want the closet open. I don't want to see her clothes. I don't want to smell her perfume. I just want to be left alone."

Marvin laid the jacket over the back of the chair. "You know I'm not gonna do that. You're hurting, and I'm staying to help you."

"I didn't ask you to." Dash snapped at him.

"You didn't have to." Marvin picked up Dash's beret and tie and put them on the chair with his jacket. "You look like shit, Dash. Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

Dash looked in Marvin's direction. "Why don't you get out?" He was getting more and more agitated. "I just want to be left alone."

"Ok, man." Marvin walked to one side of the bed and turned down the blankets. "I'll be downstairs if you need anything."

"Marvin, get out of my bedroom. I don't need anything."

Marvin walked towards the door. "Just remember, you're like a brother to me. You don't have to do this alone."

"Out!" Dash yelled. He was at his breaking point. He knew Marvin meant well, everyone did, but how many times would he have to hear, "I'm here for you" or "let it all out". He didn't want a shoulder to cry on. He didn't want a helping hand. All he wanted was his wife, and no amount of wishing was going to bring her back. Dash lay back on the bed and kicked off his shoes. He couldn't process what was going on. Everything seemed totally out of control. There were so many times when things got out of hand, and he could make everything right. Just like the times when he was about to spin out of control and all he would have to do was simply look at Alison, or hear her voice, and she would have the power to calm him. Where was she now? How could she help calm him now? Tears were coming to his eyes. He didn't bother trying to wipe them away. They rolled down the side of his face and into his ears. Dash tore at the buttons of his shirt. He didn't care if it ripped; he needed to take the shirt off. Once it was opened, he sat up and took it off, then threw it onto the floor. He lay back down on the bed. Why was this happening to him? Of all people, why was it Alison? He tried to think of all the things in his life that he had done that was so bad that he was now being punished. Nothing would come to mind.

"Why? Why did you leave me?" He called out. He waited for Alison to answer back. He would take anything she would say, good or bad, as long as he could hear her voice one more time. When she didn't answer, he called out to whoever else was up there listening.

"Why did you take her from me? She was the only good thing I ever had! She was my life! Damn it all! Why won't you answer me?"

Dashiell turned on his side. "Why couldn't you have taken me instead?" He said through his tears. "Why couldn't it have been me?" He pulled his legs up under him and curled himself in to a ball. He didn't know what was happening. It was as if he was feeling every emotion all at once. He wanted to scream; he wanted to break something. His exhaustion kept him from getting up off the bed. He started to think about all the plans they had made. Everything they had ever talked about. There were so many questions she had asked him, and he had said that he would tell her later. He wished he would have told her then; it would have been one more moment with her. He thought about all the times he wanted to walk behind her, wrap his arms around her, and squeeze her tight. The times he wanted to steal a kiss from her when no one was looking, and he never did. He kept thinking over and over again about the time when she asked him when they would have their lives back. He told her that their country needed them more, and their time was going to come. At this moment, he desperately wanted to take that back.

"I'd do anything just to have her back. Why can't you just give her back to me?"

Dash wiped away his tears, but it did no good. He reached behind, pulled the blankets over him, and for the first time in his life, cried himself to sleep.


	3. Longest Night

_Disclaimer: Characters in this work (GI Joe/ Cobra) are the property of Marvel Comics, Hasbro  
and Devil's Due Publishing, Inc., and are being used without permission. No profit is gained from this site or the use of these characters. _

_Medic, your help with this chapter went beyond what I expected or hoped for; you are my 'Lifeline'…_ _ScarlettPhoenix and StormO, thank you, as always._

_**Wishes**_

_By Nickelina_

_**3. Longest Night**_

Nights always seemed to be the hardest. During the day, Dashiell was able to fill his time with various things, but, there came a time when his body and mind would fight for sleep. He could do nothing but give in. He lay on his back, staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. He tried to think of anything to put his mind in a happier place before falling asleep. He thought it would help his dreams, but he knew it wouldn't work. He turned off his table lamp, his eyes growing heavy. He tried to think of the prayer that Alison used to say before she fell asleep.

"Guide me in this time of dreams and surround me with the protecting white light so my soul may rest…"

He struggled to remember the rest, and before he knew it, he was fast asleep.

_Two small teams of Joes were infiltrating what was believed to be one of the last remaining COBRA compounds. Team Alpha had taken the underground level while the Bravo team cleared out the ground level. From the air, the compound looked too big to handle, but once everyone was on the ground, it was much smaller than they thought. Alpha had now been split up and was trying to find the communications room to shut down the main computers. Gung-Ho, Lifeline, and Shockwave were on one side of the bunker while Lady Jaye, Stalker, and Firewall were on the other. Both groups had taken out a majority of the vipers in the bunker. The electricity had been taken out and the bunker was running on emergency power. The only light that the teams had to see by were the overhead lights that flickered as they tried to remain on. Lady Jaye and Stalker were walking towards the only door in the corridor that they had not checked yet. Neither of them had heard from team Bravo, and if this final room was anything like the others they had encountered, they were going to need help._

_"Bravo team, come in!" Lady Jaye called into her wrist communicator. She motioned for Stalker to go first into the corridor and she would follow him._

_"I'm not getting anything from them either, Jaye." He told her as he passed._

_"What is going on?" She asked aloud. _

_"You could say that again." Firewall came up along side Lady Jaye. "The frequencies are most likely jammed. Or this God-forsaken idea of a bunker has walls that are too thick."_

_Lady Jaye thought she heard footsteps. She silenced her two partners with a hand gesture. She reached across Firewall's chest and held her against the wall. When the sounds faded, Lady Jaye signaled Stalker to continue to the door. With Lady Jaye on one side of the door and Firewall on the other, Stalker kicked the door open. It was just what they were looking for. Stalker cautiously entered the room and made sure it was clear while Firewall went to the main computer terminal and began to de-code it for shut down._

_Firewall slipped a zip disk into the drive and began to strip the computer of information. Anything the Joes could get would prove helpful in the long run. Stalker closed the door to the room and stood watch to make sure no one would enter. _

_"Make it snappy, girlie." He told Firewall._

_"Make it snappy indeed." A voice from behind the terminal said._

_Lady Jaye raised her gun and pointed it towards the voice. Firewall stopped what she was doing and reached for her gun as well. "It's three against one. I'd advise you step out of there unarmed." Lady Jaye demanded._

_From behind the console in a crawl space, a lone viper emerged, still holding his firearm. He had it aimed at Firewall. "You! Up against the wall!"_

_"I don't think so," Lady Jaye said and turned to Firewall, "Finish up."_

_"Don't be stupid." Stalker walked closer to him. "Put the gun down."_

_Before anyone could react, the viper shot the terminal, barely missing Firewall. She shrieked as she jumped back from the terminal. The viper raised his gun again, laughing as he aimed at Lady Jaye. _

_"Don't even think about it." She warned, matching her aim with his._

_A shot was fired, but it did not come from Lady Jaye or the viper. It came from Stalker. The viper fell to the floor in front of Firewall. "Now, he won't."_

_"I can still get this." Firewall said. She walked back over to the terminal and tried to retrieve the information._

_"Do what you can, and let's get the hell out of here," Lady Jaye told her. "You okay, Stalker?"_

_"I'm dandy." Stalker walked back to the door._

_A quiet beep came from the terminal and Firewall jumped out of the chair. "Got it! I'm shutting everything down…now!" The sound of the terminal's fans winding down was heard. As soon as the computers were shut down, Alpha's wrist comms snapped to life._

_"Alpha team, this is Grand- Slam, do you copy?"_

_"Grand-Slam, this is Lady Jaye, we are going to need you to cover us. Is the way up cleared?"_

_"Not yet. Make your way up top anyway. We'll get you cover."_

_"You heard the man. Let's go!" Lady Jaye called to Stalker and Firewall. She pulled Firewall up from the chair and pushed her towards the door._

_Stalker turned his head as the door slammed open. In the doorway three vipers stood with their weapons at the ready. "Get the disk!"_

_"Shit!" Stalker exclaimed as he tried to get a shot off before they did. Stalker was able to take out the three vipers, but not before they were able to get shots off first._

_As the Vipers began to shoot, Lady Jaye ran to where Firewall was standing. She knew that Firewall did not have her gun aimed and did the only thing she could to protect her. She ran towards her and pushed Firewall out of the way. In the process, Lady Jaye turned herself so her back was to the doorway. Firewall lost her balance due to the push and fell to the ground. Lady Jaye winced in pain as she felt a white-hot sting in her lower back. Before she could react, she felt another in her shoulder. Lady Jaye fell to the floor not far from Firewall. She immediately grew dizzy. She wanted to cry out, but the amount of pain in her abdomen would not allow her to. Pain shot through her chest as she tried to take a breath. She reached out for Firewall to get her attention._

_"Son of a Bitch!" Stalker kicked the door closed. "Are you two okay?"_

_Firewall stood up. "Jesus! What just happened?" She rolled Lady Jaye on her back and tried to help her up. She looked down and saw Lady Jaye had her eyes closed tight and a complete look of pain on her face. "Stalker, something is wrong!"_

_"Lady Jaye?" Stalker asked. "Jaye?" He got no response from her. She was lying very still on the floor. He ran to her; and as he knelt beside her, he saw the color drain from her along with her blood. "Lady Jaye?" Seeing the amount of blood under her, he slid his hand under back; her shirt was soaked. "Man Down! Lifeline, where are you?"_

_"On our way over. What's your sit?" Lifeline called back._

_"Jaye has a major gunshot wound in the back. Bleeding profusely," he paused as he pulled Lady Jaye's shirt up and lightly pressed on her belly. "Belly is distended. There has got to be internal bleeding. I really need your help, man."_

_"Stalker?" Lady Jaye's voice was quiet, and there was fear in her eyes. It was hard for her to breathe._

_"It's okay Jaye, were gonna get you out of here. Aren't we, Firewall?" Stalker looked in Firewall's direction and saw her frozen with a look of shock on her face. She was just realizing what happened._

_She simply shook her head yes while she looked at the door._

_"Firewall!" Stalker yelled to get her attention. "We're gonna get Jaye out of here, aren't we?"_

_Firewall caught on to what he was implying. "Yeah. Lady Jaye, we're gonna get you out of here real soon." She hoped that Lady Jaye did not hear the uncertainty in her voice. _

_Firewall called on her wrist comm, her voice shaky. "Bravo! Come in Bravo!" She waited for a reply._

_"Bravo, go ahead."_

_"We need emergency extraction! And get Flint down here, now!"_

_"The chopper is on the way. Flint will be on top waiting for you."_

_Firewall went to Lady Jaye's side, knelt down, and gently brushed the hair from her eyes and forehead. She took her hand and tried to calm her. Lady Jaye held it as tight as she could. _

_"Dash… Call Dash." Lady Jaye managed to say. Her voice grew almost inaudible as her breathing became labored. _

_"I did. He's on his way."_

_Stalker ripped open Lady Jaye's shirt. He saw one exit wound near her right shoulder. Stalker took of his over shirt and used it to apply pressure to the wound to stop the bleeding. He gestured for Firewall to kneel next to Lady Jaye's head. "Hold it on both sides, and tight. Make sure her neck doesn't move. I have to turn her." He took Lady Jaye by the shoulders and gently turned her on her side. He pulled her shirt up to her shoulders and checked for an entry wound. There was a large amount of blood, so he ran his hand across her back to try and clear some of it away. He found the entry wound on her shoulder and another on her lower back. Stalker knew the bullet in her lower back had not exited, and it was that with which he should be concerned about. He gently rolled her back. "Hang on, girl. Help is on the way." _

_"Stalker, we have the area clear and we are on our way in." Lifeline said over the comm. "Get this door down!"_

_Lady Jaye looked over at Stalker. "Help me."_

_He heard a bang from the other side of the door. He picked up his gun and pointed it in that direction. Firewall did the same. The door opened slowly, and they saw the barrel of another weapon. Behind it was Shockwave._

_"Room is clear!" He yelled to the team behind him. "Jesus…" he exclaimed as he looked at the amount of blood that was on the floor._

_Lifeline pushed him aside and dropped his medical bag next to Lady Jaye. He took the portable litter off his back and opened his bag. "Hey, sweetie." He ruffled Lady Jaye's hair in an attempt to calm her. "Let's see what we have here." With Stalker's help, he turned Lady Jaye onto her side and looked at her back. The bullets seem to have cleared her spinal column, but with no exit wound, he could not be sure. Shockwave opened the portable litter and guided it under Lady Jaye as Stalker instructed him. Lifeline looked Lady Jaye over head to toe keeping note of her wounds as he checked. He reached into his bag and grabbed several dressings. He placed them over her wounds and gently placed her on the litter. Stalker went to work taking her vitals. He wrote the numbers on his arm for lack of a better place to write them. Although Lifeline carried basic medical supplies with him, the one thing that he needed the most was oxygen. He ran his hands over her to feel for any other exit wounds on the front but he could only notice her belly was expanded. He touched it and it was becoming rigid. She was bleeding out. He thought about a bullet hitting her liver, spleen, an artery, or vessel. He needed to get her out of there and to a medical facility. Stalker pulled two IVs from Lifeline's bag. He handed Lifeline one and started one himself. They ran them wide open. She was losing too much blood, but they were running out of options. With no other injuries found, he took his stethoscope to listen to her chest. He was sure he was going to find a collapsed lung from the bullet wound in her upper chest. Lifeline leaned closer to her and heard her trying to tell him something._

_"I'm…so…cold."_

_"I know, darling." Lifeline kept his voice steady. He tried not to let his fear come through. He was running out of options. He needed oxygen, a monitor… _

_"Wha...t's…happening…?" She asked him, her voice barely audible. She gasped for a breath._

_Lifeline knew that she was becoming disorientated. He looked over at Shockwave. "Get an ETA on that chop, now!" _

_Shockwave went into the hall and called on his comm. "Five." He yelled back to Lifeline. _

_"Not fast enough. I need them here yesterday!" Lifeline wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. "Stalker, we need to get her above ground." Lifeline pulled out his AmbuBag and set his laryngoscope and the endotracheal tube near Lady Jaye's head. He knew what was going to come next and he wanted the equipment at hand._

_"The way might not be clear." Stalker began to strap Lady Jaye down on the litter. "Firewall and Gung-ho. Plow down anything that moves on the way up. Shockwave you take up the rear. Let's go!"_

_Lady Jaye lay on the floor. She felt Lifeline place something cold next to her ear but she had no idea what it was. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She was truly scared. She could tell by the way that everyone was acting that she was in far worse shape than they let on. The pain was so intense, more than the other times she had been shot. She wanted someone to hold her hand and tell her that she was okay. She needed Dash desperately. He would make everything alright. He could fix this. Where was he? A sharp pain shot through her chest. She tried to take a breath but couldn't. It felt as if everything in her chest was being crushed. _

_"Dashiell!" She cried. No sound would come from her throat. She felt herself being lifted up. She looked over at Lifeline who was putting his medical bag on her legs. He walked out of her sight and up near her head. Stalker was by her feet. He looked at her, but she couldn't read his expression. She was being carried through the bunker and up the stairs. She felt the breeze outside and it added to the chills, which she already had. She was so tired yet she fought to stay awake. They placed her on the ground. She heard a chopper nearby and tried to figure how far away it was. How far away Dash was from her. She couldn't see. Everything was blurry every sound more and more distant. Every time she tried to take a breath, she became dizzier. If only she could just close her eyes for a minute…_

_"Flint is here. He's running over now. Hang in there, okay?" Firewall took her hand again. _

_Once the chopper landed Flint jumped off and ran to where he saw Lifeline's red jumpsuit. It seemed like forever before he got to there. He could see Lady Jaye on the ground and Lifeline leaning over her. What was left of her uniform shirt and the litter was covered in blood. _

Dashiell woke up with a startle. He sat up in his bed and wiped a bead of sweat off his face. "Not again. God, not again," he mumbled. He looked over at the clock; it was 3:30 am. He rubbed his eyes and lay back down. Reaching over, he turned on the radio of his alarm clock to try and keep him awake; but it was no use. His eyes closed and he drifted off again.

"_Al, I'm here." Flint pushed Firewall out of the way and took Lady Jaye's hand. "What the fuck happened down there?"_

_"She was trying to…" Firewall started._

_"I wasn't asking you!" Flint snapped back at her. "Stalker, answer me!"_

_Stalker did not look up at Flint. He pushed Flint's hand away from Lady Jaye. "I can't right now. You need to move."_

_Flint let go of Lady Jaye's hand and stepped back. Her body began to shake. It looked as if she was trying to get a breath but all they heard was a gurgle. Her chest heaved, and she coughed up a large amount of blood. Lifeline tried to clear her airway. Flint felt as if he was going to pass out. She coughed blood once again. Her eyes which had been open the whole time fluttered as they closed. Lifeline knew that he had no choice now. He wanted to hold off long enough for Lady Jaye to tell Flint that she loved him but her time was running out. He reached for his laryngoscope and the tubing, which he had set next to the ambu bag. He had to intubate her. With the blood that she had just coughed up and more, it took two tries before he got the tube in her throat. _

_Flint balled his hands into fists and turned away. He couldn't help but think that Lifeline was somehow hurting Lady Jaye. When he turned back around, he looked down at her. She was so pale. _

_"She's unconscious. She needs blood." Stalker grabbed her wrist to check for a pulse._

_"She needs blood, oxygen and a surgeon. Stalker, get over here and hold this end so I can bag her. Firewall you carry the other end! "Lifeline told them as he bagged her. _

_From behind the bunker, Lifeline heard gunshots. "God, not now! Not now!"_

_The pilot waved from the chopper._

_"We gotta go." Shockwave told Lifeline. "Shipwreck and I will take the front, Spirit and Flint will flank you, Grand-Slam and Gung-Ho, take the rear."_

_The team made it to the chopper, and once everyone was in, it lifted up from the ground. Once in the air, Lifeline knew that unless he kept breathing for her he would lose her respiration and that her heart wasn't far behind. Stalker took over respiration for Lifeline._

_"Flint, come here."_

_Flint moved closer to Lifeline, keeping a close eye on Lady Jaye. _

_"Come up here." Lifeline pointed to a place near Lady Jaye's head where Flint could sit. Flint did as he was told. Lifeline grabbed Flint's hand and guided it to Lady Jaye's. The look Lifeline gave Flint was all he needed to know. "I have to call base. Talk to her, she still hears you."_

_Flint leaned in closer to his wife. He kissed her forehead and smoothed her hair. "I love you. Al, hang on honey. We're almost home. We just need to get you home." He tried to choke back his tears. "Please don't do this, Al. Honey please stay with me. I need you here with me. We promised each other, remember. It's alright, love. We're almost home." Flint looked at Stalker. "She's not going to…" Stalker just looked at Flint not knowing what to tell him. Lifeline took the bag from Stalker and knelt next to Lady Jaye._

_Flint turned back to Lady Jaye. "Alison, I am begging you! Hang on, Baby, hang on." He felt her hand squeeze slightly and then go limp. "Allie, no! Do something!" Flint yelled at Lifeline._

_"I'm doing all I can, Flint!" Lifeline yelled back._

_Lifeline reached for her wrist and could not find a pulse. He knew that it wouldn't help but he started chest compressions anyway. _

_The rest of the team was huddled near the back of the chopper. In shock they watched in silence. Stalker moved to help Lifeline with CPR._

_"Oh my God! This isn't happening!" Firewall said. Shockwave turned her around and pulled her close to him so she wouldn't have to watch._

_With every chest compression more blood would fall to the floor. Lifeline knew that he was fighting a losing battle. He stopped the CPR. "I can't, Flint. She's bleeding out." He took a deep breath. "She bled out." He looked down at Lady Jaye. "I'm sorry, honey. I did all I could." He looked over at Flint. "I'm sorry." He mouthed._

_Flint tightened his grip on her hand and put his head on hers. "Alison!"_

"Alison!" Dash screamed as he sat up. He reached over and tried to feel for her, but she wasn't there. He swung his feet over the bed and stood up. He walked into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. When were these nightmares going to end? He left the bathroom light on and sat in the chair which was near the bed. Dash leaned back in the chair and looked out the window. It would not be long before the sun would rise. He looked out into the night and his mind began to wander.

_A few minutes passed in silence. Everyone was too shocked to do anything. Gung-Ho had gone into the chopper's emergency kit and retrieved a blanket. Lifeline placed it over Lady Jaye, and Flint tenderly tucked it in. He still sat next her. He held her hand and told her how much he loved her. He would not allow Lifeline to cover her face._

_The chopper landed, and there was a medical team waiting for them. Lifeline instructed the team to leave the chopper and that he would follow with Lady Jaye._

_Duke was waiting for them. When he saw the looks on the faces of the team as they got off the chopper, he knew that they had lost Lady Jaye. He sent two more medics into the chopper. _

_"Can you just hang back a minute?" Lifeline told them. He turned to Flint. "I know you don't want to, but let's cover her face and give her dignity, okay?"_

_Flint shook his head yes._

_"You can go with her, I'll tell them you have to."_

_"I don't want to leave her."_

_Lifeline took the blanket and lifted it more so he had enough to cover Lady Jaye's head. He motioned for the medics to take the litter to the waiting ambulance. _

_When the medics had taken Lady Jaye off, Lifeline turned to Flint. "I'm so sorry, Flint. I tried. I did everything I knew, everything I could." Lifeline walked to the door and got off the chopper._

_"I know," Flint said after he left._

_Flint stood alone in the chopper. He looked down at the floor that was now covered in Lady Jaye's blood. He shook his head._

_"Flint?" Duke called into the chopper._

_Flint did not answer him._

_Duke climbed into the chopper. He noticed the blood but didn't mention it. He walked up to Flint and wrapped his arms around him. He felt Flint's body shake as he began to sob. "I don't have any words."_

_"Please Conrad just don't say anything." Flint tried to compose himself. "I need to go to her. Now." He pushed past Duke and got out of the chopper._

The sun began to rise and it filled the bedroom with light. Dashiell got up out of the chair and stretched. He tried to get the kink out of his back from sitting for most of the night. Not finding any relief, he lay down on the bed. He heard Caleb downstairs and he knew that he wasn't alone in the house. In a strange way the noise was comforting. He closed his eyes and tried to get some rest. "Guide me in this time of dreams…"


	4. Spinning in Circles

_Disclaimer: Characters in this work (GI Joe/ Cobra) are the property of Marvel Comics, Hasbro  
and Devil's Due Publishing, Inc., and are being used without permission. No profit is gained from this site or the use of these characters. _

_ScarlettPhoenix , StormO, and Medic thank you, as always._

Wishes

_By Nickelina_

4**. Spinning in Circles**

Time had passed, but the pain was as fresh as the day it happened. Dashiell went for his daily run to get out of the house. He pushed himself as hard as he could, and when he couldn't go on anymore, he turned around and went home. It was like this every day. He wondered how much longer he was going to keep punishing himself physically. All he knew was if his body hurt, maybe his heart wouldn't hurt so badly.

When he got back to the house, he found a package sitting on the floor. Caleb left it there along with the rest of his mail. Dash didn't bother to shower of change out or his sweaty clothes. He picked up the box and sat on the couch. He ripped it open without bothering to see who sent it. Once he got through the packing papers, he found a manila envelope. Written on it was the message:

_Dashiell, _

_I took care of Alison's paperwork. Enclosed are her service awards and medals. They were kept concealed until she was decommissioned._

_Sincerely, _

_Conrad._

Decommissioned. Dash took a breath and reached into the box. He left what was in the envelope for later. He pulled out five smaller boxes and lined them up on the table. One by one he opened them. A bronze star, three purple hearts, and a sliver star. He had always joked with Alison about what she would receive for hauling Hawk out of Borovia. She had said that she didn't care about what award she received, just getting him out alive was enough. The Silver Star must have been it. He looked over the rest of the items in the envelope and then closed the boxes individually.

He went to the hall closet and grabbed a stack of boxes that he had stored and threw them into the living room. Shana had told him that she would help pack up Alison's things. He didn't want to delay the inevitable any longer. He wanted to do it all himself, and he wanted to do it now. He stared at the bookcase and wondered if he should start there. Dash shook his head and went to the kitchen to get a drink. Maybe that would make it easier.

Dash was never much of a drinker. There were times that he would go out with the guys, but he never drank when he was mad, or frustrated, or upset. This time, he didn't think about that. There was not much in the way of liquor in the house. There were a few beers in the fridge, but Dash wanted something stronger.

In the cabinet were a few bottles of wine leftover from Alison's funeral. Behind those he found her stash of scotch. She only drank the best, imported from Scotland, and it was the best thing for him to drown in today. He took a small glass down from the shelf below and filled it with scotch. He drank it as if it were a single shot. He felt it burn as it hit his throat and poured himself another. He took the bottle and his glass into the living room and sat back at the couch. He opened the box of the Silver Star again and ran his finger across the medal. He forgot all about cleaning out her things for the time being. He turned on the television and drank another glass.

He spent most of the afternoon drinking. Caleb came home and noticed Dash nearly passed out on the couch. The empty bottle of scotch was lying on its side on the table, and what he had left in the glass had spilled onto the carpet. Caleb walked over to him and took the glass out of his hand.

"God, you're a wreck. Allie would be so disappointed."

"She doesn't care. If she cared, she wouldn't have died." Dash's words were slurred.

"Don't say that. And I care about you." Caleb took Dash's hand and tried to pull him up off the couch. "I can't stand to see you like this. You're a whole different person."

Dash, in a drunk, heavy state, fell back to the couch. Caleb tried again to sit him up, but he was unsuccessful. He left Dash lying down and saw the contents of the package on the table. He reached for the Silver Star.

"Put it down." Dash ordered.

"What is it?" Caleb asked.

"It's not yours. Put it down."

Caleb looked at Dash and knew exactly how to get him up. "That box was for my sister. Those are _my _sister's things. Do you want me to put it down?" Caleb picked up the Star and walked to the other side of the room. "Because if you want me to, you're going to have to come over here and get it. What do you have to do in the Army to get one of these anyway?"

Dash lay on the couch. He closed his eyes. He knew exactly what Caleb was doing. Alison did it to him all the time, that taunting voice, and her sly smile, the tickle fight that usually ensued after he had caught her. But this wasn't Alison teasing him, it was Caleb intentionally trying to piss him off. Dash got up off the couch. He immediately lost his footing and fell over the coffee table.

"What's the matter Dash? Come and get my sister's star."

"I'm gonna beat the shit out of you when I get over there."

"Really? In your condition? You can't even get your drunken ass off the couch."

Caleb's last comment sent Dash over the edge. He got up off the floor and lunged at Caleb. Caleb moved out of the way before Dash could reach him.

"Hey! You're off the couch!"

"Bastard!"

Before Caleb could move again, Dash's fist connected with the side of his face. He lost his balance and fell backwards against the bookcase. As he fell, he dropped the Silver Star.

Dash balled his hand into a fist again. "I told you to put it down." Dash grabbed Caleb by the collar of his shirt and tried to pull him up close enough to punch him again.

"I dropped it." Caleb said as he tried to get out Dash's grip. "God, how did Alison put up with you?"

Dash let go of the shirt, and Caleb fell back to the floor. "I want you out. Not at the end of the week. Not tomorrow. Now!" Dash went back to sit on the couch.

Caleb picked up the Silver Star and put it back on the table. He walked out of the room without saying another word walked up the stairs to the guest room

Once he was there he closed the door and picked up a small notebook he had next to the bed. He leafed through it and found the note from Alison he was searching for. He quickly read it.

"Call one of them if you ever need help…" he read aloud. He picked up the phone and dialed the numbers listed.

The next morning, Dash stumbled into the kitchen. He was sore from spending the night on the couch. He squinted at the sunlight that was coming through the window. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water from the tap. This was the worst that he had felt in a long time. He couldn't remember much from the previous day. He took a drink from the glass and put it down. His head was pounding. He put his fingers to his temples.

"Not feeling so great?"

Dash turned to the voice that was coming from the back door.

"Edwin." Dash sounded less than enthusiastic. "What are you doing here?"

"Caleb called me last night. He told me you weren't doing so well."

"I'm doing fine," Dash said.

"You don't look like it. Here." Edwin handing him a small brown bag. "Standard GI Joe hangover cure."

"Thanks." Dash took the bag from Edwin and took out a package of Midol and a bottle of Gatorade. He took two Midol and began drinking the Gatorade. "Who came up with this remedy anyway?"

Edwin took the bag and threw it away. "Alison."

Dash grunted and poured the rest of the Gatorade down the sink.

"You know, Dash, I've seen this before," Edwin began. He motioned towards the living room. "Would you like to sit?"

"Is this a house call, Lifeline?" There was a hint of sour sarcasm in Dash's voice.

"No, but come and have a seat." Edwin walked into the living room. He carried two cups of coffee with him. He sat on the couch and moved the empty bottle of scotch onto the floor. Dash sat on the opposite side of the couch and picked up a cup of coffee. He didn't drink it; he just took in the aroma.

"Did I ever tell you about my father?"

Dash put his coffee down on the table. "I don't want to hear a lecture, especially from you."

"It's not a lecture. It's more of a story."

"I don't want to hear it." Dash said again.

"I do." Michelle said from the stairway. "I love stories."

Dash looked at her as she walked into the room and sat on the floor across from the couch.

"Firewall, where did you come from?"

"I was upstairs. Caleb picked me up and let me in."

"Caleb is forgetting whose house this is." Dash said, not quite under his breath.

Michelle shrugged her shoulders. She took one of her signature pigtails in hand and began twirling it between her fingers.

"Well," Edwin began, "when I was eleven my mother died. It was pretty sudden, and no one was prepared for it. My father was a proud man. He provided well for his family. But when Mom died, his work was the only thing he cared about. He would leave me alone for most of the day, then arrive home late, and most times drunk, to take the days aggressions out on me.

When he wasn't at work, he would be sitting on the couch, with the TV on; a glass of bourbon in one hand and the bottle in the other. He would stay like that until he passed out. I would find him the same way I found you this morning."

Dash did not like the feeling of being ambushed in this way. He took a sip of his coffee. "The point of your story is what?"

"The point is Dash, after my father decided that life is better living sober, he realized how he had treated those around him, how he treated me. He once told me that he wished he could have dealt with it better and not have turned to alcohol."

"Ahh, I get it. Now that Al is gone, I'm going to become a raging alcoholic. Thanks for the intervention. I need to take a shower." Dash got up off the couch and began to walk up the stairs.

"Dashiell, wait."

Dash stopped at the bottom of the stairs to hear what Edwin had to say.

"Caleb called me because he was concerned. We don't want to see you go down that path. Alison wouldn't have wanted you to either."

"I'm really trying to be nice when I say this, but you don't know what the hell Alison would have wanted. None of you do."

Dash spent a long time in the shower. He let the water wash over him while he thought about everything Edwin had told him. He wasn't going to turn into a drunk. He knew better than that; he just didn't know what else to do. Lately, he never seemed to know what to do. Maybe he needed to stop looking at the big picture. Perhaps everyone's advice to take everything one day at a time was right. He just wasn't ready to let go. He didn't want to forget about Alison. How can he just go on with life when his was wrapped around someone who is gone? He needed to do something. He felt like he was just spinning in circles. He told himself it would all be gradual. He wouldn't have to let her go over night.

When Dash got out of the shower, he shaved and put on clean, pressed clothes. He thought it was funny that he already felt better. Besides, he owed it to Michelle. He promised her that she could help him today. The last thing she needed was to have him in a bad mood. She really was only trying to help. Today was the day Shana was going to come by, and he wasn't about to get a lecture from her as well.

He found Michelle in the living room, looking through a photo album. She had put together the boxes, and stacked them along the bookcase. Dash stood in the doorway and watched the expressions on her face as she leafed through pages of pictures. Every so often, she would peel back the cover and take a picture out. She had a small pile on the couch next to her.

"Finding everything alright?" Dash asked her.

"No. I can't find a baby picture."

"She doesn't have one. I've never seen one either."

"Well, that's too bad. It would have been nice to see one." Michelle returned to the book.

Dash sat down in one of the chairs across from the couch. He looked around the room, not knowing exactly what to do. "Maybe Caleb can find one for you."

"Find what?"

"A baby picture. He must know where one is."

"Maybe. He left some stuff for you. It's on the dining room table."

Dash got up and walked into the dining room. He spotted a small stack of notebooks. He immediately recognized them as the ones Alison carried with her. All this time, she had been writing in them and sending them all to Caleb. He had to admit, it was a strange way of writing letters. He took the notebooks and walked back into the living room.

"Hey, Flint?" Dash looked up at the sound of his codename. It had been a while since anyone called him that.

"Yes?"

"Can I have a few of these?" Michelle held up a few pictures.

"I don't know." He was hesitant to let them go. "Let me see which ones you want." He took the pictures out of her hand and looked at them. He took a deep breath and handed them back to her. "I guess you can have these."

"Thanks!" Michelle patted the pictures when she put them back next to her.

"Why do you want them anyway?" Dash asked her.

"Because I just do."

Dash smiled at her. "What is the real reason?"

Michelle pulled her legs under her and put the album aside. "We were all talking, and it seems like everyone has something to remember her by and I don't. Everyone had these great stories to tell. All I could say was she died because she was trying to get me out of the way. Shielding me with her body to make sure I was out of the line of fire.

Dash sat down next to Michelle. He was quiet for a minute. "There would be no greater story than that. Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"Alison liked you. She used to keep tabs on you to make sure you were okay. She looked after you as if you were her little sister. She would tell me that all the time. I'm sure if it had to be done all over, she would have done the same. That was just the kind of person she…was."

"I never did get to say thank you."

"I'm sure she knew. You held her hand and comforted her until I got there. I'm sure that was all the thanks she needed."

Michelle didn't say anything; she just nodded her head in agreement.

"Upstairs, there is a ton of clothes. Do you want to sort through them? Take what you want?"

"Sure." Michelle got up and began to walk up the stairs.

"I'll be up in a few minutes." He felt as if just a small part of the weight that was on his shoulders was lifting. He was beginning to let go.


	5. Letters Home

_Disclaimer: Characters in this work (GI Joe/ Cobra) are the property of Marvel Comics, Hasbro  
and Devil's Due Publishing, Inc., and are being used without permission. No profit is gained from this site or the use of these characters. _

_ScarlettPhoenix , StormO, and Medic thank you, as always._

Wishes

_By Nickelina_

**5. Letters Home**

_June 24_

_Caleb, _

_I'm writing to you from the field, well a transport plane actually. I have a few moments of downtime right now. We are here doing one of those things I can't tell you, or I'd have to kill you. But, you haven't made me that mad in a while. It's so funny; the people around me area always thinking I have top secret notes in this book. If they only knew that I was writing my brother…_

_Earlier this week, I called you and got one of your friends instead. He told me about you and Sarah and how she was moving out. Oh Hon, I'm so sorry. I thought she was the one for you. I'm really sorry she broke your heart, and if it makes you feel better, I can say I hate her for it. I keep telling you to let me screen these girls for you, but you never let me! By the way, drinking beer and eating cold pizza is not how you get over a breakup. There will be another one for you. A better one. I'm telling you, Caleb, just when you least expect it, Bam! The love of your life is going to come walking right in. This is the voice of experience talking to you._

_I have not asked you about work lately. Did you ever get the account from that company in France? If not, you should consider moving to the D.C. area. I could hook you up with an advertising company there and you can live in my house while we are stationed out here. You should think about branching out on your own. You have the smarts and know-how and god knows you have the money to do it. Go for it big Bro!_

_Remember I told you about Michelle? That cute little girl who fixed your computer over the phone? Well, I invited her over while Dash was out of town. I thought it would be good for her to have a girl's night out of sorts. Well, we were watching movies and talking all this girl stuff. (I don't think she has a lot of people to talk to about girly stuff). Don't even say it, Caleb! I'm not that much of a tomboy, and I do give good advice. Anyway, I get called back to post, and I left her alone in my apartment. I knew everything would be okay, really. I was only gone for three hours, and I called her on my way back into town. I hear this beeping on the other line. Meanwhile, she's keeps telling me the noise is nothing and everything is just fine. I got home and my apartment was full of smoke! I asked her what had happened, and she said something about a "stove malfunction". The girl almost burned down my house! I love her to death, but I don't think I'm going to let her cook anymore. You have to meet her. I'm sure the two of you would get along great._

_My good friend, Albert and his wife had their second baby this week. It's a girl. I told him that the best name in the world is Alison. He did not listen. They named her Emma. Emma is a pretty name don't you think? I really miss working with him; he used to make everything so fun. Alpine and Bazooka, my two nights in shining armor. I miss a lot of people, especially Wally. I wonder what he is up to. Find out for me okay? Wallace Weems is his name. Just in case I can't. I know you hate when I tell you that, but you never know what could happen out here. Tell him to take some leave time and come to Arizona to see me._

_Dash told me that he called you the other night, but he didn't say too much after that. Did you have a fight? Or are you two planning something? It's not like him to not tell me everything you talked about. He's been so stressed out these past few days. I know what the reasons are, but there is nothing I can do to help him. And it bothers me. I'm supposed to make things better for him, be that support for him and I just can't right now. I don't know. I know when he's about to snap; he takes his beret off and kind of rubs his forehead. It's cute. Marvin and I try to count to see how often he does it in one day. We counted 25 once. I thought he was going to rub the skin right off his face. (That sounded kind of gross, sorry)_

_Anyway, back to Dash and being stressed out. There are so many times I just want to hold him and tell him everything is going to be okay. I know we shouldn't, but I tend to forget all those military rules sometimes. Sometimes I just don't care. I need to kiss my husband. I want to walk to the mess and hold his hand. I want to walk anywhere and hold his hand. A simple touch can make every thing better. We seem to have that effect on each other. Being married to him is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He absolutely completes me, and I don't know what I would ever do if I lost him. I have come close, and it has been some of the scariest moments of my life._

_I can see him now. He's talking to some of the guys. They're all going over details. (Again, I can't tell you what it's about.) Every so often he looks my way and smiles. He knows I'm writing about him. He looks kind of sexy right now in those hot, olive drab pants and that black shirt, which I'm sure could be one size bigger than it is. His beret is sitting perfect on his head, and he has all this equipment strapped to him. Oooh._

_I'm sure that is just how you wanted to hear me describe him. Now the next time you see Dash, that is what you are going to think of. I'm laughing out loud just picturing the look on your face._

_My baby is now sitting next to me. He is resting his head on my shoulder and reading this. He says "Hello". Ahhh, contentment. Find someone to love so you know what I am talking about! His eyes are now closed, and I think he is attempting to take a nap, which is what I should do too because we have a few more hours until we reach our destination._

_Caleb, do you still have that list of names and numbers I gave you? Please add Albert for me. The number is scribbled on a post-it attached to the back of this book. And remember if you ever need help, for anything, do not hesitate to call my friends. _

_I'm going to let you go for now, I'm not sure if I'll be able to write until we are back. You know the drill. In the event…tell Dash I love him, always have, always will._

_Love you, Caleb, wait for me…_

_Your beautiful, smart, and loving baby sister,_

_Alison_

Dash closed the notebook and picked up his cup of coffee. He had spent the last couple of days packing up the rest of his and Alison's things. He had turned the house over to Caleb as Alison had wanted. Dash was happy for Caleb, who had found a nice job in D.C. He was starting over again as well. Today was the day Dash would return to work. It was what he needed. He was going to fight for the freedom of his country, fight all the fights that Alison could not.

He still had a couple of her notebooks to go through; he was taking his time reading them. As much as they were helping him get over her death, every so often, it would bring everything back as fresh as the day it happened. All in due time is what he would tell himself.

Dash waited for his ride. He was going to be picked up from the house by a driver who would take him to Andrews Air Force Base, where he would get a transport to the Pitt in Arizona. He heard the doorbell ring and promptly answer it. He saw the driver standing on the porch and asked him to step inside while he retrieved his things.

He picked up the notebook that he had been reading and the others that Caleb had left and placed them in a box. He took his favorite picture of Alison off the table along with a few others and placed them in the box as well. He handed the box to the driver then grabbed his duffel from the floor in the living room. He turned to the staircase and yelled to Caleb.

"Caleb, I'm leaving!"

"Wait, Dash. I'll be right down."

Caleb walked down the stairs. He was trying to tie his tie without falling.

"I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything, then." Dash told him.

"Thank you, for everything." Caleb hugged Dash.

"No, thank you. I wouldn't have been able to get through this without you."

"Watch your six, man." Caleb let go of Dash. "Is that what they say?"

"Yeah, I will. I'm sure Al is watching my six too."

"I know she is. Take care, Dash."

"You too, I'll talk to you soon." Dash walked out of the house without looking back.

Shana was the first person that Dash ran into at the Pitt. Everyone else seemed to stay out of his way. She was in the meeting room, setting up for a briefing. He stood in the doorway and watched her place folders in front of all the chairs, and then she went to the projector to make sure that everything was set.

"Do you need any help?" He asked her.

She turned around and smiled when she saw him. "Welcome back! Duke said you would be in today." Shana walked up to him and gave him a hug. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing fine." Dash replied. "Should we make bets of how many times I'm going to be asked that today?"

"I'm sure a lot. We're all just concerned. We love you, and we missed you." Shana walked back to the table and grabbed two empty pitchers. "Now go and get us some water so we can get this show on the road."

Dash smiled at her. "Yes, Ma'am."

As the briefing went on, Dash looked around him. Michelle sat on one side of him, while Marvin was on the other. Edwin and Shana were sitting across from him. Hector and Lonzo were at the end of the table and Conrad was leading. He felt a sense of home and stability here in the company of these people. He had found a brother in Caleb. He knew that this was where he needed to be and that no matter what, Alison would be watching over him. Dash looked down at his left hand and the wedding ring that he still wore, and he could hear her whispering to him.

_"I'll wait for you Dash, I love you."_


End file.
